I saw some blogs about cutting, self hating, glorifying death and generally encouraging what I would call ineffective habits.
Everyone has self-depreciating thoughts. They come into your mind, and they stir up an endless cycle of thought after thought. Depressive conditions can aggravate these, as well as life stresses, and various social interactions.
The problem is we instantly assume our thoughts are true, but if anyone said the EXACT same thing about them we would argue them. We know its not true, but its an addictive habit. One thought feeds another, and that pain will feed those thoughts until it seems like a monster you can not combat.
I know it sounds cheesy but its true— you get what you put out. The only way to battle this is to FIGHT IT. Unfortunately, I only see people feeding into it and making posts here on tumblr to encourage others to settle in this misery-loves-company fest.
So lets start with the basics:
1. Reaching out.
Most of us use this as our primary self-appreciation tactic. Its easiest to hear it from someone else… but this can cause strains on relationships. If you constantly tell someone ‘Oh god I’m so fat” and wait for them to tell you you’re not, its not a very healthy solution.
However, there is a correct way to do this! Rather than saying “I’m fat” say “I’m really feeling fat today”. “I’m ugly” can become “My hair isn’t doing what I want, it makes me feel ugly”
These judgement statements are shortcuts and should be avoided if you want to be healthy and happy. Acknowledge what you’re feeling, but don’t accept it as fact.
For some reason humans seem to find it super easy to believe their negative thoughts, but really hard to believe their positive ones. The fastest way to combat that is to pretend as if you’re talking to a close friend with the same thoughts as you. You’ll find it becomes really obvious that the positive thoughts are true, and the negative ones are just feelings that are growing out of hand.
The best way to combat your negative thoughts, is to think of positive thoughts. Each time a bad thought comes into your mind(( and to clarify, bad thoughts are the ones that bring up unpleasant emotions)) think of something good. For every 1 bad thought you need 5 good ones!
If I think “I’m stupid!” after I fail a test, I’ll stop myself. “I am strong willed” or “I am really good at remembering symptoms” anything I can think of that makes me feel good about myself.
3. Myth challenging.
This is an offshoot of the previous one. Its a little more methodical. Write out a list of “myths” you think are true, and challenge them. Argue whatever it is! When you sit down and think about the myths you convince yourself are true, you’ll find you can see a lot of alternatives for the thoughts you have.
If I think “I’m stupid!” after I fail a test, I will then replace it with “I am not stupid, I just didn’t study as hard as I could have. I will study harder next time.” or “I’m not stupid, this subject is just more difficult for me. I am smart about many other things.”
As for something more physical, I see it a lot “I’m fat.” and then you try to back it up with facts like “I can’t fit into this dress” or ” I’ve gained 10 lbs!” You can challenge this too if you try. “I’m not fat, I’m just PMSing and gained some water weight” or “I’m not fat, that dress was small to begin with.”
Disassociation is considered ineffective in some cases. If you do it too much it becomes a disorder. However, in a controlled setting it can be helpful! Disassociation is a normal human function made to protect the mind from excess emotion. Its important to remember that emotions are not some intangible thing, they are a physical reaction to external stimuli. Emotional pain is not that different from physical pain when you look at the structure of it.
Anyways, that said, you can take those thoughts and project them onto a figure you don’t like. For me, I use the rival from some of the pokemon games. I pretend he’s the one saying my negative thoughts, and then I whip out my pokemon and defeat him in battle. I’ve heard things like a shadow, or a demon as well. Whatever you feel jives with you. So then when they say the negative thoughts you can defeat them and tell them those aren’t true.
Overall, don’t give in to those self-depreciating thoughts and tactics! Keep fighting them. I know the posts on tumblr are helpful for some people, but I’d like to continue my theme of practicing good health and post some alternatives. c: